embarrassed much at yahoo dot com

Do you remember the time before gmail? The "in" thing to do as soon as you had access to this dingy little place called a cyber cafe, was to create a hotmail or a yahoo ID. I don't know what it was about these sites, but for some reason people tended to create emails that were bound to be embarrassing later in life. It was like a wave of drunkenness took over the keyboard and an odd combination of words combined, to make what was eventually supposed to be your identification of an online presence.

CoolGuy81.. Magical_Megha.. Sparkles4Sneha.. DancingPonies.. Smile4Ever.. RforRahul.. NotMyEmail.. ILoveDosa.. Bored_foreva.. GreatestLover.. UselessFellow.. RockerChick.. mail_me_here.. 

and, am embarrassed to say this but I went with PsychicNet (yes, really!)

Along came gmail with its invite snobbery. Everyone begging for an invite and making professional sounding firstname.lastname addresses. What a sea change! And a welcome one at that. An email address is as good an identity as a phone number used to be. And it is just too cutesy for a reflection of your childhood fantasy hero to surface in this identity. Especially when CoolGuy621 is actually now bordering on BaldGuy6021!

And yet once in a while you still come across someone who'll fill in their email address as Supernatural_Shortstuff at yahoo.com and it makes you wonder, why!? What is it about Yahoo that brings out the fuzzy-duddies :P

Have you seen some email IDs that were really out there? What was yours? Come on.. 'fess up..

an evening in Paris

Walking the streets of an unknown city by yourself, when you don't even speak the language can be daunting. It is daunting. But also exhilarating. 

A walk to the famous Galleries Lafayette was just the right way to start my touring of Paris. So I studied the map in the hotel room to avoid looking like a foolish tourist alone on the streets, and started out with a happy song in my heart. To be walking and absorbing Paris in all it's winter glory! Ah! A much cherished dream finally coming true. 

The cold. Oh. My. God. I'll be honest, it disoriented me. After a while, I couldn't feel my face. My hands were numb. My nose was all kinds of Rudolph. It' difficult to think straight with that kind of cold! It's even more difficult to try to pretend like you know where you're going, and have a purposeful gait, while you're actually taking your time to look around and take in as many details as you can. I wanted to do it all! 

I finally did make it to the department store (it was a straight road). And boy was I pleased! Paris is dressed up for Christmas - more than a month in advance. Beautiful breathtaking window displays everywhere you can see. Lights and intricate details on the streets. A general buoyancy in all the kids' steps because they know something special is around the corner... I loved it! I would've loved it more if the stores had more than a winter wardrobe full of yummies. Empty hands and a coffee break later I decided to walk to the Jardin Des Tuileries. I can only imagine what I must have looked like to the joggers in the park (Yes! The French seem to jog at all hours of the day, 10am, 2pm.. They're out there. Running) Among the huffers and puffers was this lonesome girl shivering in a jacket, clicking pictures of desolate looking trees and barren landscapes with half frozen fingers. 

Misty eyed foreigner, they must've thought. Another one of them, they must've thought. 

I don't know what it is about the city that brings out the beauty-lover romantic in people.. Maybe it is just the idea of Paris.. The idyllic city with street cafés at every step, wine pouring from the taps, the gorgeous facades of every building, fashionistas everywhere you look, love locks on every bridge you cross.. It's all that and more. 

more to life than diamonds

Why are diamonds considered a girl's best friend?

Don't get me wrong, I like jewelry as much as the next girl. I adore the gorgeous pieces that adorn the store shelves these days. More so with the trend for "statement pieces" and elegant looks. But if you turn to any of the advertising on television or the radio, diamond jewelry seems to be the one-stop-solution for anything and everything - whether it's a forgotten anniversary, or a last minute Diwali gift, or even getting random brownie points with the wife. 

The problem I have with these advertising messages is two-fold.

One, it isn't just diamonds that look good on jewelry. Up to the first 20-25 years of life, most girls are happier with chunky silver jewelry, beads, artificial stuff and these days stores like Accessorize, Zara, Vero Moda, Forever 21 and Mango provide interesting enough pieces at (relatively) affordable prices. And even among the more grown up women, the more exquisite and interesting pieces they own may not even be diamonds - instead a strings of pearls, or a set with rubies, sapphire and other precious stones may be more sought after.

And two, girls love other things in life too! Diamonds or jewelry every time is not exciting. Takes away from the "special feeling" factor. Think about it, getting a nice Armani exclusive for him may be just the right gift for a particular special occasion like a big promotion or a new job. But, buying a shirt (albeit an Armani or Gucci) every time is just so unimaginative.

I don't know if I'm an exception to the rule, but I definitely get more excited with gifts that are personalized and more thought through than jewelry. Gift me a new gadget and see me jump with joy. Buy me an adorable pair of heels and see how much I appreciate you. Bags, dresses.. hell even a much awaited PS3 game sometimes may be more appreciated than a piece of pretty rock that I mostly keep locked up somewhere. And if it has to be that expensive a gift, then an adorable Beetle or a Mini Cooper would be much appreciated, thank you very much! ;)

Judgmental as a four letter word

If you ask someone for mantras to being a better person, one of the things on their list will most probably be - Never Be Judgmental. And it's appears to be a very obvious thing that one should do. We all know how easy it is to spend time judging others for what they do, what they say, what they wear, what they eat, whatever. But, we also know that everyone has their own lives to battle through, and you're probably being unfair to them by just judging. 

So yes, you will be a better person if you stop being judgmental and let people be. But have you ever considered how difficult it is to truly do that? 

Think about it. For example, an elder in my family, whom I respect a lot, is convinced that by giving up something dear to them, they can coax or urge the powers that be into solving some problems. So for example, I really love coffee, but I'm going through a bad phase where my stock investments are losing a lot of money. I promise to give up coffee, and the powers that be ensure that my losses reduce. A lot of people would smirk, or even outright laugh at such a notion. I don't need to agree with the concept, but that needn't make it alright for me to deride someone's beliefs. In fact to be truly non-judgmental, I should basically not tell them, directly or indirectly, to give up this superstition. Not even in a case like this where it may be such an obvious superstitious belief which has no scientific backing. Because hey, no judging means no judging...

Tell me, isn't that difficult?! It's damn near impossible in my books! But, to be a better person I must not judge. Ever.

And when you ask someone to not be judgmental, aren't you yourself in a way judging them for being judgmental!

The point is that taking the "Never Be Judgmental" ideology to an extreme, can actually back fire. If everyone just accepted everyone else's ways we would have no debates, no thinkers, no development, no breaking-the-mould. Just being. So, let's not Never Be Judgmental. Let's just aim to be a little more understanding than we are. And keep ourselves some room for a good old fashioned judgementing when it's truly needed. 

What's exciting for you?

Earlier last year, I decided to take a break from work. I was working with a financial services provider and when I told anyone that I'm taking a break from a 9-to-5 setup their immediate reaction was - "Oh wow! Wish I had the courage to do it. Finance burns you out so quickly, doesn't it?"

The latter derives from the former but in reality, I wasn't actually burnt out. You see, there was a combination of internal (firm-specific) and external (domestic regulation and global depression) factors that was leading to a change of strategy in the firm I was working with. The job role I was working on was fantastic! I was among the lucky few I guess, whose first job is a dream job. I cared about my business, and felt it close to my heart. It was sad for me to see the firm lose focus, and for business to dry up. And so the loss of a very niche very beloved job profile was the reason I decided to take a break, not a burn out. 

 

But that's too long a story to tell everyone, so I stuck to the yes-burnt-out-finance-sucks routine. The truth, as cliched as it sounds, is that I loved my work enough to not consider it work. 

What I don't love is lingering nothingness. 

It may sound like a dream - sit around all day (quite like what we imagine a govt office is).. Get a salary check at the end of the month (quite unlike what we know the govt office pay is). Life goes on. But it doesn't really. Prolonged stagnation can turn into the worst form of torture. It's something that you sometimes live through, mainly because of inertia. But the longer it lasts, the more suffocating it becomes.

The other end of the spectrum is the nothingness where you stop existing outside of work pressures. The kind of place where so many of my peers seem to be stuck in. Especially in finance, where it is a common crib to "wake up every morning, dreading the day that lies ahead." That's the kind of life I have nightmares about waking up into. And there is no way such a life can be healthy for you in the long run, or the short run. 

So when someone asks me what kind of a job profile I'm looking for, the answer is simple - something that excites me. Make that your aim in life.. to stay excited about what you're doing, and to find the courage to change gears if it isn't working for you.

the more things change

A little bit of a DDA colony from way back when, amidst the rush of Mumbai. 

A stroll through our complex in the evenings brings me sights and sounds that I thought I’d lost somewhere in my childhood. A little girl on the swings shouts out, ‘Dadi! Yeh dekho!’ as she manages her first solo act on the monkey bars. Six different sets of boys are playing intense cricket games. Most of their time is spent on deciding (and disputing) whether hitting the ball towards off counts as a four or is out of bounds, and whether one-tip-one-hand is considered a catch. 

There’s a vegetable vendor busy bargaining with an uncle who’s telling him, “These apples aren’t worth 120 rupees a kilo, you must give them for a hundred.” While on the other side a young houswife chides his colleague for not bringing the shimla mirch she’s been asking for. 

I also noticed a group of old gentlemen that sit on a particular set of benches every evening. That is their territory. I wonder what they talk about everyday, in these panchayat-like sessions. Across them, on the other side of the pathway is another set of benches which are occupied by half a dozen old ladies. Do they talk about each other? Like groups of teenage boys and girls during the lunch break in school? How fun would those conversations be! 

Every few steps I cross strollers with little babies, out for their daily dose of fresh air with a mother or father just back from office. A girl sits on the stairs with a dour expression. I think she just had a “catti” level fight with her friends who in turn seem to be in a deep conversation on the other side of the park. Probably conspiring schemes to get her back, or not. 

I cross a mother and daughter out for an evening walk, which doubles up as a session of life lessons that the daughter will likely reminisce about a few years down. Much like I am right now. 

There’s a deep content happiness in my heart as I walk through these routine evenings in our complex. Gratitude for the great childhood I’ve had, and a quiet comfort that for some things at least, it is better that they haven’t changed over the years. 

thrill of the open road

It’s quite a feeling.. Pushing the pedal to the floor!

The other day, I was driving behind a Jaguar XF in the evening traffic on the highway. After about 5 kilometers of weaving through the buses and trucks and what not, I could see a stretch of road opening up not too far ahead. 

…whoooooop…!!!

In about 3 seconds she sped up..
up..
up..
..and away! 

And just to be clear, I was at 80kmph myself. But  the Jaguar zipped ahead so beautifully that I literally checked to see if I’d braked or something.

Oh the joy.. I felt like giving the engine a hug.. yummmmy..

I only wish I had the gumption to ‘fly’ in a car..

Olympus fell quickly, and unintelligently..

Hat tip to Hollywood producers for playing to the public’s worst fears. Olympus Has Fallen is a movie that shows the security vulnerabilities of the seat of power of the United States. It thrives on the depiction of shock-inducing images like a bullet hole ridden American flag, armor piercing bullets ripping through innocent tourists, half of the White House obliterated, Asian nationes gearing up for a full fledged war, Washington Monument collapsing on itself, among others.

But the story line is so weak, so weak that it distracts from the feeling of dread and awe that these images are supposed to produce.

The weakest link was the so called traitor who was responsible for allowing this security breach to happen. When confronted by the President with disgust and disbelief that one of his closest aides has turned, the reply and his only explanation for helping orchestrate what is supposedly the worst terrorist attack ever perpetrated on his motherland is a very unsatisfactory – “Me?! A traitor? What about you, with your globalization, and your Wall Street!” That’s where his explanation stops. I kid you not.. There is no further dwelling on his role, his motivations. Nothing!

And that is just about as much non sense that I can take from a movie.

The saving grace is that the movie is quick, there are a few well choreographed fight sequences, some smart one liners, and steady performances from Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart and Morgan Freeman. But this isn’t a must-see movie. It is strictly average, and to be seen only when you have a couple of hours to spend on mindless fast paced action.

need a sign that you're in the right job?

I’ll give you five!

1. Your parents / significant other probably don’t understand either what you do, or why you pour your entire life into it.

2. You defend your work at dinner parties – passionately! If you say good things about your job after two drinks, you’re in the right place.

3. Your 7 year old niece / nephew says, ‘I want to grow up to be like you!’ – because you’ve spent the greater part of the past few hours telling her / him how awesome your job is.

4. You crib about the salary (or it’s inadequacy) all the time, and yet find no substantial reason to switch careers.

5.  You regularly advise friends and foes to stop wasting their lives and do something fun – “like me” (even if their response is most often to snort and change the topic)

If you’re nodding to yourself reading any of this, you’ve done well my friend.

My five-point program

Every few weeks, I come across a new diet or weight loss program, or rather these days it will probably be called a “healthy living plan.” Since I get carried away quite easily, any new “miracle, so easy to do, life changing” plan I come across must be tried!! And over the past 5-7 yrs, I have lost count of the number of fitness solutions I must’ve tried – obviously haven’t been able to stick to any of them permanently. This includes the (god-forsaken) GM-Diet, adapting Shikha Sharma’s Diet, Reader’s Digest’s Change One program (now rechristened to “Best You“) following the so-called mantras in Payal Tiwari’s book From XL to XS , counting calories on the various apps available for the iPhone (like this one), going for umpteen yoga (and/or power yoga) classes, etc etc. Most recently, a friend shared a link to something called the Whole 30 Challenge which a blogger (skinny one at that) took up and ended up looking so fit (even more than what she already looked).

But after reading this particular blog, I had a kind of an epiphany. With all the google search, and stories heard of people’s miracle regimes, and even the experimentation I’ve been doing, I realize that it’s not so tough to come up with a fitness plan suited to one’s body, suited to a budget, living conditions, and most importantly to the time at hand.

So I have my own plan now, for which I’m using one of those fancy catch phrases which will hopefully make it easier to stick with in the long term – My 5 Point Program..

The plan is simple, and its simplicity will be the reason for success (hopefully) - Eliminate 5 unhealthy habits, and replace them with 5 new healthy habits. I did a deep-dive into my daily routine and eating habits and came up with this list below..

5 things to eliminate:

1. Stop eating deserts after every meal. I’m not eliminating sugar, because I know the body needs some amount. But, I need to drop this habit of “khaane ke baad kuch meetha ho jaye“

2. No alcohol. No empty calories. This one will make going out with friends tough. But the plan is to be strictly off alcohol for atleast a month, and then restrict myself to only a couple of drinks, not more than once a week.

3. Nothing fried. We get enough oil in our normal meals, no need to add to the greasiness with chips, fritters, and mostly all other snacks that are deep fried.

4. No pizzas. Even though we have a cook, we end up ordering pizzas on days she doesn’t come in, or on days we don’t feel like eating roti-sabzi-dal – which is 2-3 times a week at least. So I’m hoping the ban will lead to a substantial reduction in calorie intake over time.

5. No more skipping breakfast. Don’t need to elucidate the pros of this one, I know it’s  good for me, I know! And yet it gets skipped. No more excuses.

5 healthy things to do:

1. Add some form of work-out in my weekly routine. Swim / yoga / gym for 5 days in the week. No excuses.

2. Drink more water. I have at least 2 litres a day, and will now take that up to 3-4 litres.

3. Take the stairs. My office is 8 floors above my parking level, and the lift is always crowded in the morning. So, I’m getting the stairs workout at least once a day.

4. Plan ahead for eats. Most of the time, the reason I end up binge snacking is the evening gawd-i’ll-eat-anything-right-now urge. So I will consciously make an effort to think of and prepare healthy snacks – boiled channa, sprouts, salads, boiled eggs etc – and avoid the random chips, namkeen, cheese toast type munchies.

5. Have a cup of jasmine green tea before sleeping & stay awake for at least an hour after dinner.

There, I’ve put this out in the blogosphere so that I’m motivated to stick to it faithfully. And I’ve roped in the husband so we can do all this together.  It sounds as easy as most of the things that have been mentioned above, and I’m hoping it will be.

I should be updating with some positive results soon! *fingers crossed*

Perception is Reality

Perception is Reality. During one of the practice sessions for group discussions that I took for my b-school admissions, we were split into two groups and each group was to give the other a topic to discuss and debate. While my group was given the vague and oddly ambiguous topic – White, I chose to be a bit more adventurous and shot off “Perception is Reality” with a smirk and twinkle in my eyes – beat that you white warriors! I don’t remember the names of any of the fellow candidates from that day, but I won’t ever forget the expressions on their faces. Icy daggers plunged into mental effigies of me.

But while listening to them, I realized it isn’t something that can be debated at all is it? Reality, i.e. what we believe to be real is “what we believe to be real”. If you’ve read the hugely popular self help book written by Rhonda Bryne, tuning our perceptions is The Secret to turning them into reality. She takes it to another extreme and spends 200 odd pages saying the same thing – believe something to be true and it will actually become a reality.

But actually understanding the meaning of the word perception also makes the topic quite redundant. Perception is basically the process of understanding what we see or hear or feel. It gets defined as or is itself synonymous to cognition. So the reality we live in is in fact a combination of our perceptions of and reactions to things and beings around us.

So, sadistic pleasures of giving a weird debate topic aside, if I were in the shoes of the group that had to discuss “Perception is Reality”, my contribution to the proceedings would be a short and sweet “Yes it is, isn’t it!” followed by a discussion of the Matrix movies, or of the Indian mythological concept of moh-maya. But then, I was instead laden with the not so interesting concept of “White is the presence of all colors, is the color of Simi Grewal, and of Jitender” and blah. Which, in my perception, was the really irritating topic that day.