Forfeiting Book Loans

Never lend a book if you will mind it not being returned. 

Very smart and sane advice to give to any book owner. We often end up doing the opposite though. You love a book so much that you go around recommending it to all and sundry. Eventually one person will ask to borrow your copy. Much as you'd like the love for your book to spread, be careful. Loaning your beloved book and never seeing it again is a very heart wrenching feeling. I have collected many books over the years as gifts. From my grandma on each birthday, from my parents, my brother, my husband, even from friends that were once close but then drifted away. One of the things I always insist on, is for the gifter to inscribe a message on the book. For some, this may be a sacrilege. But for me, it makes the book that much more special. I may read the book only once, but the inscription is read over the years with a big Cheshire Cat like smile. So if someone borrows a book from me, I can't simply go out and buy a replacement. The story of my copy is lost forever, to lie in someone else's book shelf. Heart breaking.

But sadly and much to my detriment, I've taken too long to adopt this advice myself. And, I'm now the owner of a few series with the first and/or second book missing.

Just to clarify, I'm sure the borrower doesn't intend to keep the book forever. It's just one of those things that happens. I too have books from a couple of people that haven't been returned (and never will be). Losing touch with someone is one obvious reason. Or maybe you don't start reading it immediately and then it just gets lost somewhere in the bookshelf. By the time you reach for it a few months (or years) down the line, you may not even remember who the book belongs to. (See one more advantage of the inscription!) 

One of my friends has a thing for Markus Zuzak's The Book Thief (Ironic to mention that particular book, I know). She can not have a conversation about reading without bringing up how much she loves it. So after a couple of conversations, when she realised that I still hadn't read it, she just went ahead and bought it for me! And I realised that that's a wonderful way to spread your love. No heart break for you, and a wonderful experience for the other person. Who doesn't like receiving gifts 'just because'. 

So despite the faith you have in someone, and despite knowing that they aren't inherent book hoarders, just be careful with books that mean something special to you. Ideally, suggest that people should read the book and leave them to buy it for themselves. Or if you're feeling really benevolent then buy one for them. 

But, never ever lend a book if you will mind it not being returned.