7 reasons why I hate "7 reasons..." posts

Oh my god. Can anyone write an article these days without making a list out of it?! 

It’s bad enough to have social media posts where you click to “find out what happened next” and then get taken to some place where you sign away your right to a brain (or your control over what gets posted on your social media page, whatever). Those posts I can handle. I simply click on this wonderful thing called the “back page” button. No I do not want to give you access to my personal life; no I do not care about your bait-y headline anymore. I will find something else to read today. I know it may not “change my life forever” like your post promises to. But I’m ok with that. 

These lists though. Where do I start? Or rather, where do they stop? It is supposed to be a tool to get clicks on your page. In a world where attention spans are shorter than the time it takes for Tony Stark to create a new Iron Man suit, it sure helps to have catchy headlines. Topical posts on relatable subjects are a dime-a-dozen. So someone somewhere on the inter-webs realized that people like to read lists. They know what they are getting into when they open the article. If nothing else, they can skim through the first sentence of each point, get a gist of what the author is trying to say, and share it on their social media page, with an opinion on the post – all without wasting no more than that one traffic signal stoppage on the way to/from work. Voila! What else could you need in life. 

Let me tell you what else I could need. I could need some reading material that actually goes in depth into a topic. I could need people sharing articles with me that they have actually read and bothered to form an opinion on. I could be interested in reading articles that actually tell a story, or that work in the traditional introduction-main-body-conclusion format. A format that works, because that’s how our brains work and process information. I can understand a 30-things-to-do-before-30 post, or a 10-apps-under-$10 post. Atleast the numbers have some relevance to the content. But why is it necessary, for e.g. to list down only 5 reasons why you chose to be a stay-at-home mom. Why not a heartfelt story about a mum enjoying the life she has chosen for herself and her family? Why are there only 7 reasons why your dog is wonderful? Could you not instead write about that incident where your dog saved the cheerleader (and saved the world). What about the places other than these 9 for getting your fix of wine? Only 12 amazing fried snacks across all of India? Please. There are more dishes than that on a single lunch table in any Punjabi home. 

I do realize that my rant uses the same ruse that it's supposed to condemn. But that’s the point isn’t it. The buzzfeeds and scoopwhoops of the world are known for such click-generating-content. But why everyone else? Most of these list articles are like mine – they don’t really need to be bullet-pointed. But the writers do so anyway - just for clicks. And that’s why I hate them. 

(Yes, I promised you 7 reasons and delivered just 1. Don’t you get that same feeling when reading a lot of these articles? They really just have the one thing to say.)